<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>There's Always Gonna Be A Better Way by lily_rainn</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715444">There's Always Gonna Be A Better Way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_rainn/pseuds/lily_rainn'>lily_rainn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet, Closeted Character, F/M, Queerplatonic Relationships, ace azu, aro hamid, azu/hamid QPR</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:20:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_rainn/pseuds/lily_rainn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 5: <b>Family</b> - <strike>Friends</strike> - <strike>Magic</strike> – <strike>Grey</strike></p><p>Hamid wants Azu to meet his family (again). But it’s not that simple.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan &amp; Azu, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan/Azu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There's Always Gonna Be A Better Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’ve tried hard to steer clear of active aphobia from anyone in this fic, but it’s definitely about Azu and Hamid navigating allo/amatonormative expectations, so read responsibly and be good to yourself!</p><p>The title is from Light Of Day by Tommy Stinson</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure about this?” Azu asks for what must be the hundredth time.</p><p>She’s sat with Hamid in the room she’s been given in the al-Tahan family house. The visitor wing is considerably larger than the rest of the halfling-sized home but it’s still a bit of a squeeze for her, especially with Hamid sitting on her bed beside her. She clasps his hand where it rests on her knee, and with her other hand she nervously fiddles with the necklace around her neck. She’s looking down, can’t quite stand to meet his eyes, knowing how full of optimism they’ll be.</p><p>“Of course I’m sure,” Hamid says, sounding so relaxed and certain that Azu lets herself believe it for a moment. “They’re going to love you, Azu. It was bad timing when you met before, they just need to get to know you.”</p><p>“I hope you’re right.” Azu looks at him at last, and sure enough his excited, adoring smile is impossible not to return. She squeezes his hand. “But you’re confident that’s how you want to refer to me?”</p><p>“Yes. Definitely.” This time there’s a waver in Hamid’s voice, and Azu looks at him knowingly until he relents. “Well, I… I don’t know what else I could say, Azu. I could try to explain it properly, they’d have a thousand uncomfortable questions and they still wouldn’t understand. Or, I can just say that you’re my girlfriend and everyone will be happy.”</p><p>“Will <em>you</em> be happy?” Azu asks him. He doesn’t answer. Azu lets go of the necklace to cup his face gently in one hand, enormous against his cheek. “They will assume things. Things that aren’t true.”</p><p>“I don’t care.” Hamid’s answer comes quickly this time, a little too defensive as he pulls away slightly from her hand. He knows he hasn’t convinced her, and he sighs as she wraps both arms around him and encourages him into her lap.</p><p>“Hamid,” she starts carefully. “I am… I’m sorry, that you feel you can’t tell your family the truth. It’s unfair, and it’s horrible.”</p><p>“It’s not that I <em>can’t</em>,” he sighs, nuzzling against her. She holds him a little tighter, and his arms move to rest around her stomach. “It’s that….  I don’t want to tell them. I feel like I should. I should want to, shouldn’t I? Because they’re my family and I love them, and I shouldn’t lie to them, but…”</p><p>“But they won’t understand.” Azu sighs and strokes his hair softly. “I’m sorry. But don’t think that you <em>should</em> do anything. You don’t owe them explanations you don’t think you can give, and it sounds like if you tried to tell them the truth, it might make things… complicated.”</p><p>They embrace in silence for a moment, a moment of sadness that this has to be so difficult. But Hamid shakes his head as he sits up again. “It’s okay, Azu. I mean it.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself as much as her, but he also sounds like it’s working. “There isn’t a perfect way to do this, but this is the best way. I want them to know you’re important to me. You’re the most important person to me. That’s the thing I need them to know, and telling them you’re my girlfriend is… well, it’s the best word I’ve got for it.” He looks determined, but then suddenly falters. “<em>You</em> don’t mind, do you?”</p><p>“I don’t. As always, Hamid, it is an honour to be yours.” She speaks with all sincerity and gravity of a paladin’s oath, and almost as seriously she asks, “May I kiss you now?” She ducks her head down towards him, and he answers by pulling himself upright to meet her lips. Her large hand spans his back, supporting him, and he sweeps his own arms around her shoulders. When they pull apart, Azu can feel that she’s blushing.</p><p>“We should go. They’re going to be waiting for us,” Hamid says, pressing one more peck to her cheek before he climbs off her lap and off the bed, going to look in the mirror. He is wearing his typical suit, and Azu is going to wear her dress armour. Hamid had told her it might be a little too formal for the occasion, but it she feels comfortable and presentable in it, and she feels Aphrodite close at hand. It’s always soothing to have her goddess so near.</p><p>Hamid is obviously getting ready to leave, but Azu doesn’t stand. “Hamid,” she says carefully. “There was one thing.”</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Hamid asks, his eyes in the mirror darting up to meet hers.</p><p>She thinks about not asking, about saying it’s nothing. She doesn’t want him to know she worries. But he deserves her honesty. “What should I say if your parents ask about grandchildren?”</p><p>Hamid turns round, a small frown on his face. “I don’t think they will, Azu. We’re telling them you’re my girlfriend, that’s all. I mean, of course they’re not going to ask about sex. At least not today, not in front of me. They’re my parents,” he grimaces. “But even then, even if they assume that we want to, it’s so unlikely that we’d be able to… actually have kids. They’ll know that.”</p><p>Azu nods. He’s right, of course, the chance of them asking is small, but it’s not just the things they will <em>say</em> that worry her. “Will they be disappointed?”</p><p>“I don’t… think so? It’s not like we’re their only chance if they want grandchildren that much.” Hamid goes back to the bed, touches her hand again, and something dark passes over his expression for a moment. “But if any of them dare be disappointed in you, they’ll have me to answer to. I chose you, and they don’t get a say. Alright?”</p><p>Azu laughs a little at that. She knows exactly what a force of will and personality Hamid can be, she never underestimates his power. But it’s still endearing when he stands in front of her, looking so small and vulnerable, promising to protect her from all the world’s evils. She adores him.</p><p>“Thank you, Hamid,” she says. “I’m not going to condone the idea of you fighting with your family over me but… I do appreciate it.”</p><p>“And if any of them try to get you on your own to ask, you have my permission to be as rude as you want!” Hamid is obviously joking this time, his tone lighter and his smile spreading irresistibly across his face. Once again, the spark of it sets Azu’s face into its own wide grin, and she stands up to put on the last of her armour.</p><p>She lets Hamid lead her out of the room (ducking her head slightly to fit through the door) and towards the garden. As they go, she mutters a prayer, clutching the necklace again. By the time they reach the wide double doors leading outside, the pendant has started to glow faintly, the fuchsia pink light leaking from between her fingers. When Hamid pauses at the door and peers out, apprehension clear on his face, Azu shows him the glow and smiles.</p><p>“It’s going to be fine,” she says soothingly.</p><p>He steels himself and nods. “And if it’s not… we’ll deal with it when we get there. Together.”</p><p>“And that will be fine too.” She wants to kiss him again, but his family are just outside. It’s not worth risking being spotted kissing now, moments before the announcement Hamid has put so much thought into. She just holds the door open for him and follows him out.</p><p>Outside, Hamid’s parents and siblings are gathered, sitting around on chairs and talking idly amongst themselves. Hamid had asked them to be here and arranged for a servant to bring drinks. All quite low-key for the al-Tahan family, but enough that they’ve all worked out something is going on. Hamid thinks Saira might even suspect what it is. But none of them have said anything. That’s up to him.</p><p>They all stop their conversations as he approaches, and he looks around at them all, their expressions ranging from the curious to the anxious to the irritated. “Thank you for coming out here,” Hamid tells them all, glancing back to Azu stood behind him. She smiles encouragingly, and he continues. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. I know you’ve all met Azu already, but it was a long time ago, and everyone was… well, that was when we were all busy with Aziza’s…” He trails off, stops before his voice can wobble. Azu lays a hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently, and Hamid takes a moment before he continues. </p><p>“I thought I should re-introduce you, properly. Formally,” he tells his family, putting his own hand over the one on his shoulder. “This is my girlfriend, Azu.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A lot of my pieces this week are about joy and belonging because I wanted to write nice things for the characters I love. This one turned into something a bit sadder, but I think there’s still comfort to be found in taking agency about the way we describe ourselves and our relationships.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>